Fancy yourself a genius creative? Love grammar? Want to make the world a better place? Angling for a short-lived Amazon shopping spree? Then you’re just who we’ve been looking for.
First, the completely made-up premise:
We made the mistake of hiring our cousin’s boyfriend’s dog’s best friend and self-proclaimed “copywriting and marketing guru” to come up with a list of possible new taglines for ProofreadNOW.com. We lost confidence in him based on his subsequent two-word e-mail responses consisting of “Huh?” and “K.”
He finally submitted a snarky note three weeks after our deadline asserting that he was confident whatever he lacked in actual experience he’d made up for with excessiveness, along with the following long and atrocious list.
Possible New ProofreadNOW.com Taglines:
1. Give us your business. We love you long time.
2. We are judging your grammar anyway. Just let us fix it already.
3. The vindictive proofers.
4. Where did you think all the proverbial cat ladies worked?
5. We’re somewhat enthused by grammar
6. Don’t let bad grammar ruin your life. Let us help.
7. We do what AI can’t. Use the bathroom and proofread well.
8. Use good grammar or we’ll poke you with hot forks.
9. We take proofreading very seriously. Like a cult. We’re a cult.
10. Your satisfaction somewhat guaranteed.
11. Giving our Saturday nights and our sanity to serve you.
12.When it pays to be anal, we’re your best friend.
13. We’re crazy about grammar…and crazy.
14. Precise proofreading, loose waistbands (we work from home).
15. We proofread. We now. We proofread now.
16. Once you start cursing, it’s time to call us.
17. Hate everything you write? Let us hate it with you.
18. Them: Preefrooding isn’t important. Us: Uh-huh.
19. No matter how much you hate bad grammar, we will always hate it more.
20. Dirty wordies? We’ll clean ’em up!
21. Thank you for allowing us to avoid real people.
22. We have carpal tunnel syndrome because we love you.
23. We’re silently judging your grammar.
24. Call us when you’ve given up.
25. Efgdkfdljf qwerty.
He bragged that the last one was produced in a burst of innovation while he was typing with his elbows and watching cartoons. The audacity! (We are shaking our jowls if you can’t tell.)
Take pity on us. We’re out a significant amount of money, his website is returning a 404 error, and he won’t answer our calls or e-mails. We need you, our beloved blog readers, to come up with a viable alternative.
(Is any of that story true? No. But that’s beside the point.)
So wrack your brains and submit your taglines! Our proofreaders will pick their top 5 favorites to be published in a subsequent blogpost. Then, we’ll ask for your input to determine the finalist by popular vote.
The prize? A $50 Amazon gift card, infinite bragging rights, and 14.82 minutes of fame, since you'll have the option to be featured in follow-up blog/LinkedIn posts including a few juicy details about your creative process, relevant grammar snafus, and favorite pastimes.
Submit your ProofreadNOW.com taglines here (up to five per person). They can be funny or serious but if they’re serious they had better actually be funny.
This phase of the contest is now closed.
Be sure to come back on July 29, 2021 to see the 5 favorite taglines selected by our proofreaders. You'll then be able to vote for the best one.